From: "G. Max"
To:
Subject: Fwd: (no subject)
Date: Sat, 02 Mar 2002 09:51:26 +0000
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<blockquote type=cite class=cite citexblockquote type=cite class=cite cite>I never have quite figured out why
the sexual urges of men & women differ<br>
so much. I never have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing. And I<br>
never have figured out why men think with their head and women with their<br>
heart. Also, I never have figured out how sexual desire gets thrown into a<br>
state of turmoil when it hears the words, "I do."<br>
<br>
<br>
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the<br>
passion starts to heat up, and she then says, "I don't feel like it, I<br>
just want you to hold me."<br>
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<br>
I said, "WHAT?!"<br>
<br>
So she says the words that I and every other husband on the planet dread.<br>
She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a<br>
woman.<br>
<br>
I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realized that nothing<br>
is going to happen that night, so I went to sleep.<br>
<br>
The very next day we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store...<br>
<br>
I walked around while she tried on three very expensive outfits. She<br>
couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of<br>
them.<br>
<br>
She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200 each to which I<br>
say, "OK." And then we go to the jewelry department where she gets a set<br>
of diamond earrings. Let me tell you ...she was so excited! She must have<br>
thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she<br>
cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet<br>
because she doesn't even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when<br>
told her that it was OK.<br>
<br>
She was almost sexually excited from all of this and you should have seen<br>
her face when she said, "I'm ready; let's go to the cash register."<br>
<br>
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey. I don't feel<br>
like buying all this stuff now."<br>
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You should have seen her face ... it went completely blank. I then said,<br>
"Really, honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." Just when<br>
she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "You must not be<br>
in tune with my financial needs as a man."<br>
<br>
I figure that I might be having sex again sometime during the Spring thaw<br>
of 2003.</blockquote></blockquote></html>
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