From: Faith Kates <t >
To: Faith Kates
Subject: FW: Happy high holys
Date: Thu, 24 Sep 2009 17:03:21 +0000
How appropriate!!!
SYNAGOGUE SEATING REQUEST FORM
During the last holiday season, many Individuals expressed concern
over the seating arrangements in the synagogue. In order for us to
place you in a seat which will best suit you, we ask you to complete
the following questionnaire and return it to the synagogue office
as soon as possible.
1. I would prefer to sit in the... (Check one:)
Talking section
No talking section
2. If Talking section, which category do you prefer? (Indicate order of interest)
Stock market
Medicine
Congregants' secret medical tragedies
General gossip
Specific gossip (choose:)
The rabbi
The cantor
The cantor's voice
The cantor's wife
The cantor's wife's voice
The rabbi
The rabbi's "secretary"
Fashion news
What others are wearing
Why they look awful
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Your neighbors
Your relatives
Your neighbors' relatives
Presidential Election
Sex (Preference: )
Who's cheating on/having an affair with whom
Other:
3. Which of the following would you like to be seated near for free professional advice?
Doctor
Dentist
Nutritionist
Psychiatrist
Child psychiatrist
Mother in law
Podiatrist
Chiropractor
Stockbroker
Accountant
Lawyer
Criminal
Diver
Real estate agent
Architect
Plumber
Buyer (Specify store: )
Sexologist
Golf pro (tentative; we're still trying to find a Jewish one]
Other:
4. I want a seat located (Indicate order of priority:)
On the aisle
Near the exit
Near the window
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In Aruba
Near the bathroom
Near my in-laws
As far away from my in-laws as possible
As far away from my ex-in-laws as possible
Near the pulpit
Near the Kiddush table
Near single men
Near available women
Where no one on the bimah can see/hear me talking during services
Where no one will notice me sleeping during services
Where I can sleep during the rabbi's sermon additional charge]
5. (Orthodox only.) I would like a seat where:
I can see my spouse over the mechitza (curtain separating the sexes)
I cannot see my spouse over the mechitza
I can see my friend's spouse over the mechitza
My spouse cannot see me looking at my friend's spouse over the mechitza
6. Please do not place me anywhere near the following people:
(Limit of six; if you require more space, you may wish to consider
joining another congregation.)
Your name:
Building fund pledge: $
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